/lit/ - Literature

I think I’m depressed but I’m not sure
I don’t have friends per say, just people I hang out with.
The one person I could truly call my best friend I only talk to once a week because College floods us with work
I don’t want to die, but I also wouldn’t mind not existing the next day.
I do write and read very much now, but my interest have alienated me even more from people, as I am into the mentally ill and disturbing stuff because I’m also mentally ill.
I have ADHD (which is great for creativity l but you can forget about logical stuff like math and science) and sociopathy ( which has NO benefits) and am basically ostracized by anyone who knows about it. My family is very distant from me even though we live in the same house.
I don’t even know if I want companionship anymore because of how much of a hassle it is to live with my parents and sister already.
This is probably why I like to write and play games, as it’s a sort of escapism probably.
I am not sure if I am loved or hated, but I can’t seem to feel that way towards anyone, family or not