/lit/ - Literature

I always get in a bad mood whenever I think about my love life or I should say my lack thereof. I try not to think that way but feel like a failure whenever i think about how I am still a virgin at 22 years old. I feel less than human, I can't even satisfy one the basic need of any species: to reproduce.

I have somewhat of an excuse, I've struggled with anxiety and depression ever since I was 13-14 years old although there was a few sign of it prior to that when I think about it. I am better now though. After 2 different therapist and a few years on meds (prozac), I can hold conversation with strangers and not felle like an absolute trainwreck in public.

Problem is, I fail to build intimacy with strangers. I already have a group of friends , so not making any new friends doesn't bother as much , but the girlfriend aspect bothers me a lot not only on a level of me trying to satisfy a basic need but I can tell that my family and friends find it weird as fuck that I am still a virgin. It's a mixture of not knowing how and being afraid of failure but more importantly embarrassement. The pandmeic made me lose another year on top of this which sucks.