/lit/ - Literature

>>7289795
Who wishes that their mother would cease to exist ?

I do, I would at last start my life, at 30. My mother is like a ball and chain, she drains me, emotionally, financially in being irrational, hysterical, incapable, dumb and fucks my life up. Until the very last day, she will be a pain. She kills me bit by bit, a little more every day. she does not even understand it, or refuse to, idk.

Her whole life has been miserable and to her, I am the only good thing that she did. She is a complete neet, watching TV and sleeping all day long. She is friendless. She knows nobody in the town. NOBODY, not a fucking soul. Too bad that she poisons me day after day. Even when I am thousands of kilometres away. Always some stupid things going on, that even If I tell her to solve, she manages to fuck up which will cost me. It is even worse now that I live with her as a shut-in dead emotionally and intellectually, . I (and she) pay the consequences from her actions that she did even before and after my birth in staying in this crappy little house wherein I feel as a complete stranger.


I cannot even understand how my father went for her. It is just beyond me. He was the exact opposite of her, smart and easy-going, with lots of connection, but also had mental issues, just like the hysteria of my mother (you should see how immature she is AT THE LEAST contrariety). Today, I have inherited the worst part of my parents. MY rotten genes have NOT A SINGLE good thing from them.

Hopefully, he went out, but she was pregnant and it went down hill, even after the divorce. The worst part is that, even today, she expects me to succeed somehow, even after the whole disaster that is my family.
I think that I will be free only when she dies. I do not feel connected to her, given the extend of our differences. I really wish I was adopted tbh just not to be related to her. I wish that I had stayed in some foster home longer than what I did. The worst part is that I wished to go back live with her, when I was in the foster home, but that was before knowing her. Imagine your sole dream in life, becoming your worst nightmare. It is depressing to know that there are still a few decades to live like this. God it does not even feel good to vent.


The last one that she pulled is her dream to move out, out of her shitty little house badly built, badly conceived, badly located, badly oriented.

Somehow, she manages to believe that she will find a buyer and have enough money to get a nicer house on the beach, whereas she cannot even manage her own money. DECADES LATER, she understands that her house is worthless, that nobody will want it. But no, she perseveres.

My dad was rich, whereas she has now barely any equity. Perhaps 10k in her bank account. She did everything wrong, she cannot manage space, time, money, cannot manage her life. it will be like this until her last day on earth. GOD !!!!

If I had stayed in the foster home, everything could have been different