/lit/ - Literature

Anonymous Wed Nov 29 20:26:19 2017 No.10333772 [View]
File: 618 KB, 1000x7014, We Are All Children Suckling the Dugs of the Dead and Supposedly Damned.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10333750
>very limited eye contact
You should make this more concise. It's awkwardly worded.
>sucking toes
I like this line. It's interesting to me. I wonder how it connects to the rest of the poem.

The last two lines seem to be an appropriate end. Not bad. You should consider titling it. I don't know if it will feel complete without one, or with only the first line as a title.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 29 13:07:26 2017 No.10332176 [View] File: 618 KB, 1000x7014, We Are All Children Suckling the Dugs of the Dead and Supposedly Damned.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

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/lit/ - Literature

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