/lit/ - Literature

>>14461980
>tfw grown out of anime
never thought id see the day

>>14060427
iktf stay strong

>I first get into Buddhism after a relative gifts me Walpola Rahula's book when I'm 15
>'holy shit, this is the truth', I start meditating often, it helps me avoid unhappiness throughout my teenage years and 20's
>I feel sorry for people who belief in God and who suffer because of their attachment to their selves
>read a bunch of Pali Canon discourses, attend Theravada and Vipassana retreats and meet a bunch of cool people, I'm happy but I'm still not totally satisfied
>start learning about Mahayana, start to read through Madhyamika and Yogachara stuff, it keeps me engaged for a while, the philosophy is really interesting but I can't shake the feeling that it's not the whole truth, it still feels like it's lacking something and is just abstraction
>At the recommendation of one of my meditation teachers some years later I read through some Chan and Zen sutras, I learn a lot from them and they really help me 'get in the zone' while I meditate but I don't feel like it's enough
>After doing reading online I eventually stumble onto Tibetan Buddhism and begin to read stuff about Dzogchen and Mahamudra 'Whoa, this is crazy; this might really be it'. I read through a bunch of Tibetan stuff like a maniac and begin to feel enlightened but then after a few weeks I realize I'm still the same old me and I was just deluding myself into thinking I was and none of that Tibetan stuff was taught by Buddha anyway.
>see people memeing on /lit/ about Advaita Vedanta, I had never heard about it before and I thought that Buddha had refuted Hinduism in the PC, "huh maybe I'll look into it, simply as a curiosity'
>people tell me to read Guenon first, I read his book on Vedanta and it was interesting but I don't see what the fuss is all about though
>I finally order some of Shankara's commentaries on the Upanishads and begin to read through them to see what the deal is
>HOLY SHIT, it is the most beautiful, intricate and intuitive system of metaphysics I've ever read. Shankara has amazing powers of insight and analysis, like a combination of Plato and Buddha; unlike anything I've ever read. It's like Buddhism but more logical and all the paradoxes and questions that Buddha never answered are answered logically; and you feel immense bliss right there just from reading it without even meditating
>It hits me like a freight train near the end of his Katha Upanishad commentary that it's all true, Brahman is real and is the transcendent innermost Self but not the egoistic self of Buddhism.
>From that moment I feel an unending perpetual bliss and inner peace, I've never felt this before, this is really it
>I realize that I've been lied to or told mistaken info all this time, most Buddhists have no idea what Vedanta/Hinduism is actually about
>when I look back at all my Buddhism books I feel like a teenage looking at my old LEGOS and think about how much time was wasted, the regret is only matched by the bliss I still feel to this moment

anyone else know this feel?