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/lit/ - Literature

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>> No.8779150 [View]
File: 1011 KB, 2976x2366, 1480395241596.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8779150

http://pastebin.com/ryuuKTSm

Requesting some more critique on this scene, which is a part of my autistic novel I posted some of above as well. Basically the main city is under siege and losing the war, and the cities around it are falling one by one. So the main character decides they should launch an attack on the enemy's capital since they are doomed anyway. I am curious; does this move too fast? Should I add more interludes? This story is very long, this is only a tiny fraction of it, and I am trying to cover as much material as I can in as few words as possible. I just am curious if I am going too far. And any opinions on my writing in general. This is a raw first draft I just finished minutes ago. Please try to ignore the autistic parts. Thanks in advance, I will try to critique your stuff if you post your own pastebin with your critique. If not I will post my critique of you in the next thread, or leave an email and I'll email you your critique. I try to be nice to people who help me.

Will critique OP in just a minute

>> No.8777563 [View]
File: 1011 KB, 2976x2366, mhaalsuur_panorama_2-29-16_lights1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8777563

http://pastebin.com/ryuuKTSm

Requesting some more critique on this scene, which is a part of my autistic novel I posted some of above as well. Basically the main city is under siege and losing the war, and the cities around it are falling one by one. So the main character decides they should launch an attack on the enemy's capital since they are doomed anyway. I am curious; does this move too fast? Should I add more interludes? This story is very long, this is only a tiny fraction of it, and I am trying to cover as much material as I can in as few words as possible. I just am curious if I am going too far. And any opinions on my writing in general. This is a raw first draft I just finished minutes ago. Please try to ignore the autistic parts. Thanks in advance, I will try to critique your stuff if you post your own pastebin with your critique. If not I will post my critique of you in the next thread, or leave an email and I'll email you your critique. I try to be nice to people who help me.

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