/lit/ - Literature

>>21463907
Can relate so hard to what you're writing.
I hate my mom. I hate my parents. Not because of who they are, but because I lost the handrail that is stretching over the abyss called life.
In the end, all that matters is what bridge you have been dealt to cross life with - in there end, life is but an abyss. Bottomless. And lonely.
It is as if life and the mind are one of the same - the same endless and bottomless pit with no handrails, no ropes. You just keep falling and falling through eternity.

I don't mind exploring the bottom though. If there is such a thing. Turning 30 this year, and i did have some great luck in life. Married (but I'm serial cheating and can't stop even though god knows i've tried) and having a decent career. But not a day goes without having a strong impulse to just jump out from my window.
I did promise my wife that I wouldn't. So i live for her. And i've noticed myself becoming more and more careless in my cheating - I suppose I'm trying to get caught so i can finally get my promised rest.
I'm such a piece of shit.

>>21330218
>>My health has continued to worsen my mind has been harrowed. It seems to me like the core of an apple that is left in the open to rot. I am defenseless against the deterioration of my mind which is exposed and ravaged by every painful thought and terrible emotion like flies to a corpse.

Self-indulgent.
You don't want to die; You are lamenting the fact that you have to die.
Why do you have to die? Isn't there anything you could change to make life worth living?