/lit/ - Literature

>>6810464
>fine muslin, taut and fine
come on
>delicate, fleeting breath hung gaily beneath
purple. you're trying too hard
> stalling, resisting, stopping
redundant. it's fine to use that sort of description, but in this case you aren't adding anything to the description, you're just unnecessarily describing something we got the gist of right away
>any and all
again, redundant
Keep trying. You can write purple prose. That's good. Seriously, not everybody can do that. It's a phase most new writers go through. But you said something in fifty words that you could have said in ten. Eloquence isn't everything.