/lit/ - Literature

>>23237384
Part of it is context. This exchange is between two vietnam vets during the late 70s, so the joke is fitting the time period and makes sense between these two.
I think that your script comes off as overly cheesy and forced. It doesn't read naturally to me.

Let me give it a try, while maintaining the spirit of your text.
>You'd hit that?
>Married, four sons.
>Got a picture?
Niko then shows him his wife and sons.
>Which one of them is your wife?

My version is much shorter, but I think it is more natural sounding, and could be used as a base for your script.