/lit/ - Literature

>>10319322
thanks bud, you too, but I think you misunderstood me. I'm not trying to get rid of the accent, i'm trying to find good ways to write it out on paper. I def don't want to be anything other than myself when writing. I just have a love of Eliot and was raised on southern-fried KJV idioms.

>>10319773
I didn't write fiction you dumby. It's a poem.

>>10195275
>Repetition is shit tier poetry

I'll fight you right now. Although I'm not super happy with his repeating.

>>10195253
cut it down to one repeat, find something more interesting than scars to convey pain,
>darkness is real
this is less terrifying and obssesive than just
>look at me
>look at me

Big things i'd recommend is working super hard on understanding grammars finer mechanics, understanding lineation, and developing imagery

here's one of mine with a lot of repeating in it.

>>10195282
carrots

>>9896519
Ur that dude, I'm the guy that got you to write ghazals, here's the closest to a good Ghazal I have.

>not the other anon btw

>>9896705
-ly rhymes (like -ations or -ings) are weak, it'd be better to forgo rhyme altogether on 2 & 4 than rhyme that weakly. It looks like struggle.

Last line needs fewer commas at least.