/lit/ - Literature

>>16309918
Here it goes.

>>16310273
The first sentence is a little awkward, I'd rather be drawn into the story than have this jarring sense straight off the bat. Nice simile in the next line though. "small, broken thing" is also not the greatest description you could have, seeing as how you already showed us what literary flourishes you can make. Be more evocative. Also, all this action about the splinter and the wounds is upsetting my stomach a bit, so well done on being so gross. That's some good imagery with the spider too. The rhyme with "The beach ... the reach" seems unintentional, but there's musicality in it. The last line is great.