/lit/ - Literature

>>4922057
never.

pic related, it's my favorite fantasy novel

You think anyone in the course of history ever rubbed one out to this Bible verse?

>"For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."
-Ezekiel 23:20

Give me one reason as to why you haven't read the most influential and important book in human history.

Friendly reminder that The Bible approves of slavery.

>dem chapter-long poems about the Behemoth and Leviathan in Job

What literature would you have put in every motel nightstand in America?

Hey /lit/. You wanna take some Bible verses out of context for fun? Okay, good.

>There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

>Can that which is unsavoury be eaten without salt? or is there any taste in the white of an egg?

The fuck? Egg whites have flavor. Whose idea was this?

What does /lit/ think about The Bible being taught in schools, outside of private Christian schools? Should it be part of the curriculum due to its historical and literary value, or is it inappropriate to teach in schools?

Me, I never had a problem with being taught ABOUT religion (I actually had a lot of fun learning about different religions in 6th grade social studies, even got to watch Prince of Egypt, and my 9th grade World History was nice enough to, among other things, enlighten me on the prospects of Islam, which was awesome because I felt not ignorant about it), but I'm not entirely sure about The Bible itself being part of the curriculum, unless other religious texts are analyzed, I don't think it should be mandated as part of the curriculum.

So I was reading the Skeptic's Annotated Bible, and I turned to Revelation, where I found this little gem in Chapter 1, verses 12-16:

>1:12 And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks.
>1:13 And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.
>1:14 His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
>1:15 And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
>1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

This... this actually sounds kind of cool, despite how weird it is. Is there an artist's rendering of this version of Jesus? I'm curious now.

Satan:
>gives mankind knowledge of good and evil, effectively allowing mankind to develop morals and a sense of justice and righteousness
>also brings forth population control - had Adam and Eve simply kept "being fruitful and multiplying", tens upon thousands of humans would've been born at an alarming rate and the Earth would've been well over carrying capacity by the first millennium of Earth's history
>supposedly is the ultimate evil

YHWH:
>spends one sixth of his creative effort separating the fucking waters of the Earth
>creates plants before He creates the source of energy that allows them to live
>creates man solely for them to keep procreating, and do nothing productive or worthwhile with their existence
>kills the entire population of Earth (save for a drunk and his family) in a flood solely because of mankind's violent nature, but then hits the reset button and vows never to do it again because mankind is violent
>forces mankind to stop using a universal language all because they wanted to build a tower
>forces a man into thinking he has to kill his own son to please his God, only for an angel to intervene at the last second and stop him
>destroys two cities and their populations - including countless women, children, and infants all because "there weren't even ten good people among them" (I don't know about you, but it's not exactly hard to find ten good infants or young children. Also turns a woman into a pillar of salt simply for looking back at the city where all her memories are)
>kills a firstborn son of one of His people for no clear reason other than being "wicked in His eyes"
>kills another man for pulling out during sex with his brother's wife
>brought a seven year famine upon the Earth for no real reason other than to benefit one of His people

And this is all within Genesis alone.

>tfw adaptations of the story of Christ often leave out the part from Acts taking place in between the Crucifixion and Resurrection where Jesus goes to Hades and preaches to the spirits
>tfw I know so many Christians who don't even know Jesus actually did stuff in between dying and being resurrected
>tfw Acts is an underrated spinoff of the Gospels

Well, considering the New Pope, Bible thread?

>>3449435

Why is Ecclesiastes the best book, /lit/?

Bible thread.

Best/worst books of the entire bible/each testament, which Testament is better, best characters, all that stuff.

Basically, discuss The Bible.

Have you read the Bible lately, /lit/?
Have you read it ever?

I ask not out of religious reasons, but because you can't really understand most western literature to the fullest degree without knowing the bible. It's such a major piece of western culture that avoiding it is just hurting yourself.

Bible thread.

Which was the better Testament? Old or New?
Best/worst books of The Bible/each Testament?
Et cetera, et cetera.

Which was better? The Old Testament or the New Testament?

Also, best/worst books of The Bible/of each Testament?

Bible thread, because why not?

>2deep4me

I've never read the Bible before. Where should I start?

>ITT: Why the Book of Job is bullshit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVgZqnsytJI&list=UULhtZqdkjshgq8TqwIjMdCQ&index=1&feature
=plcp

I think this video is a good way of pointing things out.

>God makes a bet with Satan to ruin an innocent man's life
>The guy's life turns to complete shit
>After Job being miserable as fuck and hopeless, God comes down to him and says, "I'm God, tough shit"
>Never feels remorse for doing something fucked up like this at the hands of Satan himself
>Doesn't resurrect Job's children, despite not being above resurrecting His own son

And people still worship this guy?

>>2563337

i ain't never far from ma babble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnB7T-UQ5x0&feature=youtu.be