/lit/ - Literature

I have been thinking about this more and more recently and I feel like if something doesn't change I will end up checking out pretty soon. I'm not very good at expressing myself so please don't ridicule me, I would really appreciate some help.
I believe that the reason that anyone does anything in the overwhelming majority of cases can be reduced to hedonism. Be it driving to McDonalds to get a burger which satiates your hunger or finding a loving wife, building a family and raising children to become better than you were in order to satisfy more complex desires and become more wholeheartedly fulfilled, but in the end that all it is - doing things to satisfy yourself. I even try to imagine extremes but I think even holy people are only giving money to beggars or abstaining from sin on the promise that they will be fulfilled in the afterlife or, shorter term, gain satisfaction from feeling like a good and devout follower of whatever religion. All of it, hedonism.
This pleasure never lasts and once this fleeting pleasure is gone, we return to a state of pain and suffering. A minuscule splinter in the sole of your foot is enough to make you forget the good health of your entire body to focus on the pain of your foot. Even when there are no apparent maladies in your life and things seem good, we become bored with it, jaded. The pleasure of a creature eating it's prey is dwarfed by the pain of the creature being devoured. This may be a midwit thing to say but I believe this can be seen in cases like that of Jeff Bezos. Think of all the suffering he causes from the poor wages and horrible working conditions, third world sweatshops... It would be tiresome to explain all the crimes billionaires commit to get where they are but my point is the likes of Jeff, Bill and the others most likely don't have spotless hands and that's not even taking into account how their actions effect the planet. And for what? Even in the absolute best case scenario, sure they have good, comfortable lives but is it really worth all the suffering caused in it's wake? There's countless stories of depressed millionaires. It just doesn't seem worth it to me.

You know how smokers say they feel relaxed after a cigarette but in actuality it's their addiction to nicotine which makes them feel anxious in the first place which the cigarette remedies? Not many people would say it's a good idea to take up smoking to have those moments of relief after a cig only to be anxious all the other moments. Why would I put myself through a lifetime of suffering, chasing (a rather less straighforward) fulfillment rather than to have not lived at all. The problem is you want to be fulfilled, killing yourself is solving the problem at its root.

I'm writing this shit up at 2 in the morning, someone please tell me if it's retarded:

Plans never seem to go according to plan. Some external obstacle may come up, or your interests/desires may change. Therefore it is tempting to think that planning is completely futile.
However, plans aren't only meant to be completed. They have a second purpose. Plans provide direction and induce action. They are motivating because you are working toward something. You don't have doubts about your current actions except insofar as you have doubts about your plan. But you should embrace your doubts about your plans because your plans will inevitably change.
How could I reconcile the idea of making plans with the idea of living life "organically"? By living life organically, I mean being completely free, not being forced to do something, doing everything voluntarily, doing whatever I'd like to do at the moment. But in what way does making and following plans conflict with living organically? Could I not spontaneously and freely decide that I want to make and follow a plan? The concern is that I am disciplining my future self by imposing this plan, thereby making him less free. But my future self would be no less free than I am - there is absolutely nothing stopping him from ignoring my plan. But of course that diminishes the purpose of the plan, doesn't it? I'd say no, since the purpose of the plan is simply to provide direction and motivation. The plan is not forcing my future self to take specific actions but simply helping him decide what actions to take.
Importantly, am I not making up micro-plans throughout my everyday life? I will make a plan in my head to go get some food, and I will go get some food (or at least try to find food; plans never go according to plan, after all). Or I will make a plan in my head to play a video game or read a book, and I will play a video game or read a book. I don't think drawing out long-term plans explicitly would be an issue, so long as I revise them often.

>>8403687
>tfw too weak to hold 400+ pages heavy books

>>5755966
I feel your pain, m8. But I try to remind myself that it's only 4chan; no matter how reasonable and even-handed you try to be, some angry, misinformed stranger will always call you a faggot.

The Roebit

One time, I say once there was this roebit, and he thought he was a man. Walked and talked and ate his wife's cooking just like any man.

So one day I says to him, I says "Look, you'se a roebit."

He turns to me and says to me, "No, you're a robot."