/lit/ - Literature

>"Listen, Clive. I know you haven't a clue how mythology conducts itself and since you're an Anglican you couldn't give a damnable scrap about upholding tradition or historical coherency, so I've decided to help you out a bit with that little writing project of yours so you don't embarrass yourself too badly in front of the rest of the Oxford chaps. The first major revision involves the initial meeting of the little girl and the Faun. You'll notice it is no longer a tea party which the petite maid and rapacious satyr find themselves sitting down to, and I have instead converted the scene into a 40 page rape sequence. Rest assured the length and minute detail is necessary. Of course this dramatically alters the subsequent plot of the book since the little girl never makes it out of the wardrobe to tell the rest of her siblings whose names I've already forgotten. Instead, the book shifts focus to become a meticulous account of how the little tart is ravaged daily by the faun and the other lecherous creatures you've haphazardly populated your little mythical closet with. In accordance with mythological accuracy she remains chained in the dank basement of the faun's cottage in between the rapings. You'll note the use of heoric couplets and somgs about washing pots and pans conform exactly to traditional Anglo-poesy conventions. Thus the plot continues as all the beasts and imps of Narnia assemble to have their way with her. The minotaurs, the dwarves, the werewolves, the goblins, the hyenas, the incubi; even the beavers join in the orgy and show themselves as the ravenous sex-fiends they in fact are. In the later chapters I have that White Witch lady of yours (what an abominable misappropriation of archetypes!) make an appearance, and therefore we see an injection of some much needed lesbianism. I admit, it was a labor stretching this thing to 788 pages, but I feel the effort was worthwhile." -J. R. R. Tolkien, in a correspondence with C. S. Lewis, September 3rd 1949

>>17427741
>>17427743
utterly filtered. well played, old chaps.