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>> No.23445760 [DELETED]  [View]
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23445760

>>23444924
>Feel unsure about writing in first person present tense
>start reading Roadside Picnic
>has the same in-the-moment intimacy I want in my own writing
I maybe wasting my time on that Touhou doujin (that started as a exercise) but at lest I feel vindicated on one of my bad ideas.
>>23445503
>It's going from a modern futuristic Japanese SOL
The plot in SOL anime/manga is charters relationships and feelings. Go through your favorite SOL-whatever with this in mind and see what I mean. Also, read more non-weeb books to get a feel for good prose.
I'm going to post a screenshot of my weeb trash because I think you where trying to achieve something similar. Notice how everything that happens conveys something about Reimu's life without saying it directly.

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