/lit/ - Literature

>>19517013

What you don't need: Escapism

What you need: to google a psychiatrist in your area and find an appointment.

I'm honest, you sound like you're more than aware of your issues and are still trying to muddle through, despite full well knowing that it can only end in a burnout or worse. You don't seem to be in a good place right now and honestly, nobody is all the time. At the same time, you seem unable to get out of this hole and that's perfectly understandable. Be glad to live in a time and age where people are more open to talk about and accept those issues and act accordingly. You grandparents would've most likely had to turn to drinking and wallowing in their own worries til they die, you have the luxury of being able to find help for those issues.

You need therapy or at least a qualified third party opinion on your situation.
Go call a psychiatrist's office and ask for a session to get an assessment.

The hardest part will be picking up the phone and making the call. Once you're sitting across somebody who's willing to listen and work with your issues, it's gonna feel like having a dentist fix a toothache you've been having for months.
Time only moves in one direction, so stop looking back all the time and look forward to getting the help you need.


Best of luck.