/lit/ - Literature

My mother might die of lung cancer in the next 12 months.
It hurts to think for the first time that she might not be at my graduation or wedding. It hurts to think that my father might be alone for the last half of his life. I don’t want her to go so soon, she deserves better.
Most of the time I walk through life with my aware mind feeling like a robot; I can’t feel anything for anyone even if I want to. Strong emotion always wells from deep inside and takes hold. It’s happened a few years ago when my grandfather passed away, when I hugged my father at his funeral and it just poured out. I was held by a depressed numbness for a whole summer after that. It nesrly happened again yesterday when I was out for a walk. I had to stop the lump in my throat from pushing tears. I don’t know how I’ll be able to function if she dies. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this