/lit/ - Literature

>>15691868
embarrassing, could you imagine reading this in front of an auditorium? or even in front of your parents? It'd be the end of your social life thats for sure. I'd be elbowing the man next to me to heckle you before the thrid stanza was over.

>>15692007
An improvement, but it was over before I got endeared to it. Still, second poem in the thread that has "the sun" in the first line, this whole fucking board... I swear to god you fucking neets haven't opened your curtains in so long you don't even remember how it looks like.


>>15692131
Milles ahead of its predecesors, cant belive im the first one to reply to you, don't know about your intention, but it works better as a theater script than as a poem.

>>15692945
the spy video is great, first time I laughed at something in days.

>>15695657
I liked it anon.

>>15695951
The beginning and the end are on a whole other level, but perhaps the whole "hoar-frost" "ice-salt" and "blue-black" shebang was used one to many times as a device to set the pace.

>>15708109
>una preparación para astronautas en una agencia espacial.
What does this even mean tho. It doesn't evoke anything.
>una mezcla alcohólica que casi violaba la convención de Ginebra
gave me a chuckle.
All and all, it's like a 5/10, not insulting but not particularly talented either; my final score is "you write like and argie, I can tell you are a degenerate IRL, stop hanging out with people with no future."
>>15708394
Ok, pic related is for you then, hope you enjoy it.

>>13628212

>>12716433
Ok I've come to save this failure of a thread you can thank me later.