/lit/ - Literature

>>21301348
Going to use this post to vent.
My brother is a vain, superficial person. He's always cared more about appearance than me. There's something admirable about crafting a careful appearance to an extent; it takes some artistry. With age I'm disappointed to find there's nothing more to him.
It's one thing to care about presentation, but it seems like there's nothing behind the mask.
Everything with him is nothing more than a popularity contest. Maybe we are all like that to an extent, but I always hold out the hope that people have some individuality to them beyond seeking material markers of success. It doesn't seem like there's anything more to him. Like a real life Patrick Bateman.
He definitely views me as beneath him.
At thanksgiving he would hardly look my way, and when I interjected to say something at one point he just gave this short, kind of dismissive response. Like I wasn't valuable enough to him to be acknowledged.
Though I can't deny my own jealousy either, that my motive in criticism might be no less superficial. He sucks all of the attention in the room, and next to him I always appear insufficient and lesser.
Always the little brother in his shadow. I'm tired of being in his shadow, a lesser appendage.
I remember a year, or maybe two, ago he tried to include me playing videogames with his friend on discord.
I don't think he understood why I couldn't join in. Felt like I was back in high school tagging along with him and his friends. An awkward unwanted third wheel.

>>21279527
I am insufficient