/lit/ - Literature

I was talking to my sex therapist during an appointment last week, and he pointed out that the reason I'm incel is that I view sex as an inherently violent act and that my self-identity as an innocent, "good" person can't accommodate lust as an acceptable aspect of my personality. He also suggested that a failure to overcome childhood fearfulness and insecurity has resulted in me acting like a child around others, seeking their protection and therefore not presenting myself as a potential sexual partner or even a friend.

Do you think this assessment could be correct, and if so are there any books that might help me come to view sex as a normal, morally neutral (or even positive) act? Are there any philosophical books written in defence of sex?