/lit/ - Literature

worried I was rude to a classmate
worried I'm too much of a sperg to get a wife
wonder if I should care though, I don't think I ever had a significant drive to be anything but a sperg
content that my faith solidifies over time, a couple of big theological questions got their answers recently, God willing
really just lying in bed
killing an hour or so more before bed
watching some stream
not really thinking, except about being a 4 ever alone sperger
nothing I really want to do
hope to wake up rested tomorrow

I have acted as fairly as I understand how to. Not very elegantly, not with great sensitivity. It was one of a handful of bad choices. Of course there has been a selfishness, but really that is what I have been trying to mitigate. My reasoning is from another time and place, I'm a larper. It might have made me blind to you and what you want, but really I can't be any use to you unless we do things exactly this way.

I do want to be of use to you. I want to talk to you. I think so, anyway. No, maybe that's not so much it. Mostly I want to be there for you if you need me. Maybe I am uniquely situated for this, and if I am then I have a kind of duty, I think. But I can only fulfill that duty on some specific terms. Man what if I don't even want to talk to you, what am I doing then? Maybe this is all fate, that I have become strange in order to drive you away.

Which books speak about the consequences of pre-marital sex, especially towards women in the olden days? I was a massive part of our culture, but besides religious works, it's hard to find any common literatur with this in mind.

Think Heinrich Manns "The Subject", where Dietrich fucks Agnes for a while just to throw her out when she tries to get him to marry her after the fact.