/lit/ - Literature

i remember when these threads started, but now they're dry

why don't we go back to the source?

http://www.philosophyexperiments.com/

My favorite one

>>5142893

>>4922637


A Jewish anarcho-syndicalist MIT professor of linguistics and opportunistic political activist was teaching a class on Rene Descartes, known rationalist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Descartes and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than me!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, humanitarian Harvard behavioural psychologist who had conditioned over 1000 pigeons to compete in ping pong championship tournaments and understood the necessity of reinforcement and punishment for the creation of a Walden-like utopia and fully supported all breaches of research ethics made by J.B. Watson in the name of science stood up and held up a chimpanzee.

”How many signs does this chimp use to communicate, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “None, language is innate and uniquely possessed by the human species, you stupid empiricist”.

”Wrong. It’s been 58 years since you published Syntactic Structures and plunged us into the dark age of cognitivism. If it was language was not simply a semiotic system among many and Universal Grammar, as you say, is real… then we would be speaking Hebrew now”.

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and his favourite Bill Cosby sweater. He stormed out of the room crying those anarcho-syndicalist crocodile tears, the same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they publish tracts condemning right-wing dictators and ignoring the atrocities of left-wing rulers in Peru, Angola, Pakistan, and Equatorial Guinea. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist anarchist professor. He wished so much that he could blame his actions on the environmental influence of the academic ivory tower, but he himself had argued against it!

The students all predictably applauded at this positive stimulus that day and accepted B. F. Skinner as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Radical Translation” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and Willard van Orman Quine himself showed up and abolished all cognitive psychology departments across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He was sent to Guantanamo Bay for political subversion and was forced to watch looped footage of Foucault laughing at him for all eternity.

>>4907786
5/6

>>4899109