/lit/ - Literature

>be Jew from Jewland
>read exclusively in English because Hebrew literature almost universally sucks
>most books I want to read are either unavailable or unreasonably priced
>order from bookdepository only
>mfw have to wait 10-14 business days for each order

five paragraph essays are bullshit.

I never liked them because usually you're tasked to take a stance on something and then write about it. I like to write about it and then take a stance once I've reviewed my thoughts. What if you write a thesis and then when you're done with your fourth paragraph you discover what you've written disproves your actual thesis?

But the worst part is that the five paragraph essay has created shit like "Webster's dictionary defines ______ as...," "Firstly... Secondly... Thirdly...," "In conclusion..." and all this other bullshit. They teach you do write like that, and to adhere to this very rigid form that relies on bullshit phrases and "transitional sentences" and shit, and then in high school they go "NOPE, LOL. ONLY KIDS WRITE LIKE THAT!" And they're right. They're fucking right, only idiot kids write like that. You've spent the past seven years learning how to write like a fucking idiot.

>"Write drunk; edit sober." -Ernest Hemingway

>open up the word processor
>start knocking back some Jack Daniels
>only buzzed, can't start writing yet
>drink more
>kind of hungry, too
>make banana bread, drink more
>wake up at 9:00 am
>banana bread's half gone
>go to computer
>full of porn
>also I bought a $300 sword on ebay
>word processor is still blank

Thanks Ernest Hemingway, YOU ASS.

>>1792501
>implying Tolkien didn't fight hand over fist to make it one book
>implying Tolkien wrote sequels to Fellowship as a ploy to grab more money from idiots

I'm no Star Wars fanboy, and I've never read the Lord of the Rings, but the Harry Potter films and books are shallow, childish, and sometimes downright awful.

Hey /lit/ I need your help. I've got a paper due tomorrow on "A Modest Proposal".

Any scholars out there that can give me a good argument in the text to base my counter argument on?

>My face when paradise wasn't lost in Paradise Lost, they were just evicted.

>2010's Book of the Year

>"Watch this," he said, kneeling in front of the beam of sunshine again. He put his hand out. It was almost as hard to watch this time, even if my leg felt normal.

>The second his fingers entered the beam, the cave was filled with a million brilliant rainbow reflections. It was bright as noon in a glass room-- light everywhere. I flinched and then shuddered. There was sunlight all over me.

>He rolled his hand over to look at the back, then turned it palm up again. The reflections danced like he was spinning a prism.

>Sparkle sparkle sparkle