/lit/ - Literature

>>18124165
Just realized that you were the Mormon and People Mover guy the second time around reading this. Not sure what to say. I still think you're kinda scummy asking for money just to have it written.

>>16586121
Well thanks for the actual criticism. Only took 22 hours.
Though it's a bit odd when it boils down to, "I didn't like it, but I can't explain why." I did say this was my first attempt at first person, so I'm assuming that what you're feeling is that my cadence for describing the scenery and surroundings makes the MC sound very passive in first person?

That doesn't really bother me, considering his personality is meant to be passive, but apparently that annoys you. Perhaps you would be more forgiving if it went beyond the introduction, because unless you wanted me to make him a generic hot-blooded, wise-cracking hero champing at the bit, which isn't the type of plot I'm going for, the context of the story limits the actions he can take to introspection, observation, and feeling like shit. Really I wanted him to come off as someone fully subjugated by the law, and unless you think I've failed in that, I see no reason to change it. He gets more active in the next passage when he has the freedom to act on his own, so I'm not concerned.

That being said, would he benefit from an extra character trait, like fantasizing about retribution to highlight how powerless he is?
>Is this the same story?
No.

If you eventually figure out how to articulate your feelings about the prose, feel free to tell me. Because, again, this is my first time writing first person, and I can only assume the inexplicable feeling is because of that. This would've been way easier for me to write in third person limited, but in context of the plot it seems best to be first person.

>>15234859
>reads the original Rosetta stone

I know I know nothing. Therefore, my lack of intelligence makes me smart.

>book can't be read in under an hour

>clapping; sneezyface; raspberryface
unironically what did she meme by this?

>>9847300

>>9686721

>>9428426
>Lovecraft
>essential literature

>>9186085

>>9041136

>>8974074
>TES lore
>Good writing

>>8629798
this is literally the definition of fascism I had when I was in middle school

Books that take place during the ranisance age please

>>8316992
>Implying this happens to 98% of STEMfags
>Implying that they don'y enjoy their major
>Implying they can't get a job with a major with a high degree of utility
You litcucks that think this amuse me when you say dumb shit like this.