/lit/ - Literature

The first two books were extremely sick as hell back in the day, but it turns out that even if you copy all the intriguing plot points of your story from other media franchises, you still have to be able to invent a satisfying ending. When it came time for Chrissy P to actually come up with conclusions to all the elements of mystery and tension that he had absolutely fucking ladled into the books his weakness as an author was on full display.

The hidden weapon of prophecy that had a cool riddle that had to be solved turned out to be a space rock the only real purpose of which was to allow ChriPao to waste a thousand pages describing the menial labour Eragon had to accomplish to turn it into a sword. The last 120 pages of Inheritance revolve almost entirely around Eragon doing admin work for a new school, including going into self-imposed exile because his dragons might eat the sheep of local farmers. Galbatorix's death scene actually made me dumber for having read it; Eragon casts a spell on Galbatorix that makes him feel bad about what he's done, so he immediately kills himself. That's it. That's how the bad guy dies and the main threat is removed. But worst of all, Eragon doesn't get to fuck after four books of teasing my pre-and-early-teen cock. You made me read almost 4,000 pages of this dumb ass shit, and you can't even give me the courtesy of a gratuitous human-elf sex scene. It's such fucking bullshit. Your shithouse derivative star wars fanfiction isn't above smut, ChrisPiss, or at least a kiss. Fuck off. Whatever, I'm over it, I'll never think about your story again. I hope you're forgotten by humanity entirely.

In conclusion, fuck eragon and fuck Pisstopher Chaolini. I don't think the movie was bad when considered alone because the books fucking sucked too. Thank you for reading.