/lit/ - Literature

I’ve been forcing myself into as many social situations as I possibly can as flood therapy for my social anxiety, which pandemic times have greatly worsened, but it’s not getting any better. After a couple of beers I loosen up and can engage properly in a conversation, but up until that point I’m in fight or flight mode. I don’t want alcohol to be a permanent crutch.

I believe this social fear is caused in large part by growing status anxiety. Most of my friends are more intelligent than I am, had a more privileged upbringing, have been socialised better, and are more successful by societal standards. When we were all 18 it didn’t matter so much, but half a decade later I really feel like a loser, and I’m paranoid my friends see me that way too and are too kind to express it. Once I was secure in the knowledge that the respect I felt for my friends was reciprocated, not anymore.

I don’t want to change my milieu, because I love these people. All I want is to mean more to them. I fear that I don’t have the capacity to achieve this.

>>18680017
>dad found harassment architecture
I read it for the memes bros...

>>18355321
Shit I recognize that account. F

>One shot at life
>Grow up wanting to be a writer
Writing is a shit gig. Most writers are broke and/or off themselves. Why couldn't I have been an engineer, finance bro, or normie.

>TFW you will never have godly thought provoking prose like Bakker, Tolstoy or Melville
How do I become blessed with such thoughts?

What's that book about painless suicide methods called? It's written by a doctor to help terminally ill people. I can't for the life of me remember the name.

idk if marx was right about history or not but i really wish he wasn't

I'm an extremely slow reader. How do I learn to read faster?

i fucking hate london. the multiple ethnicities and cultures, instead of blending together harmoniously, each stick out like a sore thumb, each seemingly trying to vie for my attention like advertisements. but the most disappointing part about london is the whites themselves; caked in gaudy makeup, died hair, revealing clothes, all feeding into their narcissism, the youths, rowdy, not in an uplifting joyous way, but rather a hectic, chaotic, grating manner. the city's good clean architecture ironically further accentuates this dirty, abnormal, jewishness that radiates and poisons every one of it's inhabitants. i understand why lovecraft hated brooklyn.
any books for this feel?

the too much of a brainlet to read Lovecraft

>>17873710
>he is intrinsically ugly and weird
wtf

Do you believe in determinism, /lit/? I know I do. I don't want to, but I do.

>>17840585
Because I'm gay

>>17832801
Maybe. I had a gay dream with my best friend recently.

How do I cope with the fact that there are more interesting books than I can ever read?

Used to be hardcore salafi muslim. But then lost faith and became atheist. What book should I read to once again having faith in Allah, /lit/?

>want to come out to my parents
>both are very homophobic
books for this feel?

>tfw no /lit/ bf

>>17685287
>feel lonely
>go out and be around people
>feel more lonely

Thanks for the responses, /lit/. I don't come here often but I do like to ask you guys philosophical questions from time to time. I don't feel very good. I've always chased my passions but I'm realizing some of those endeavors do more harm than good. Life is hard and weird and I'm just trying to cope. Also sorry for the blog.

>>17578395
29 And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint: 30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom. 31 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. 32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? 33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. 34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.

>>17532688
the judge shoots a puppy and throws it in a river

>>17529750
I miss londonfrog

I wish I was a real linguist rather than relying on Wiktionary and Wikipedia for 90% of my linguistics knowledge.