/lit/ - Literature

I tried to kill one of my cats. I don't know if cats' skin is that tough or if the blade was so dull, but I pressed and pressed hard on its neck, and it screamed and screamed, yet it didn't even bleed. I picked it up and checked its neck—there was no blood at all!—and I looked at the knife—no blood either! It screamed loud, and my pathetic attempt at placing duct tape over its mouth hadn't worked, so I worried that it would wake someone up. I gave up and set it down outside. Guess what it did. Did it run away from me? No! It walked right back up to me and rubbed itself against my leg. I couldn't believe it. I nearly cried then, not even out of sadness, but just out of shock at the sheer absurdity of the world, that a cat, of all things, could be a better, more forgiving person than me! I considered beating it to death with a shovel instead, but I didn't even need that. Just taunting the cat with its legs duct taped together, holding the knife over it like a sword of Damocles, and then holding its life *in my hands* as it laid struggling, in fear for itself, was an exhilarating enough experience. I felt alive, powerful, high, and I feel sated, for now. I walked back inside, washed my hands, and sat down at my desk more satisfied than I had felt in a long time, even if I hadn't really done anything at all. I don't know if I'll kill the cat in the future, but its reaction astonished me so much. What are some books for this feel, /lit/?