/lit/ - Literature

I have two versions of the same short story. One I wrote a few months ago, the latter written recently after reading the original and changing a few words. These are the first two paragraphs:

>ORIGINAL
I got on the bus around midnight, late as usual to a very improvised party I didn’t know if wanted to attend. After being invited by friends of a friend as late as yesterday and merely because of political correctness I could't make my mind of what should I do. I wouldn't go on my own without haven't been invited, I wouldn't go if someone asks me to go either, but an ironic invitation was something that, for some reason, I just couldn't refuse. It wasn't explicit and they chose their words carefully, making their intentions clear enough with every expression and every inflection. Good enough to not be looked down by others because of what they would like me to do but obvious enough to make me know what I ought to do.

I didn’t uttered a single complain and instead I did what I wasn’t supposed to do precisely because they didn’t want me to. It was a guilty pleasure of mine breaking people’s illusions about me and my personality, about how I am and how I will behave, like now you see me and now you don’t, here another person appeared who isn’t who you used to know. Now I’m afraid they know, honestly they know and they’re not wrong for they know me well since there isn’t much to know. It was nothing but a poor act of rebellion that made me feel almost like a teenager, making me happy only because I was avoiding an order.


>NEW VERSION
I got on the bus around midnight, late as usual I’m afraid, to a sudden party whose existence came to my knowledge the very day before. Having no direct acquaintances with my will-be-host the invitation came to me by a friend of a friend who I barely know by sight. “Did they want me to go?” I asked myself despite knowing the obvious answer well enough, they intentions and reasons were obviosu for me which I got in the flash of a lightning. A decorous act, not worth ignoring, which I would have rejected plainly if asked with serious motive and without the quite sardonic grim they had when the invitation took place.

“Shall I or shall I not?“ didn’t crossed my mind for more than a second, followed by my happy acceptance and a row of faces turned to stunned like domino pieces falling one-by-one from left to right in a stricking sound. Doing what I am not supposed to do just to get a reaction happens to be a guilty pleasure of mine. Breaking people’s illusions in the snap of a finger, like now you see me and now you don’t, here another person appeared who isn’t who you used to know. Now I’m afraid they know, honestly they know and they’re not wrong for they know me well since there isn’t much to know.


Which one should I keep?

Let me start by saying that I would ask this to >>/adv/ but that board is full of 'my gf just left me' threads, I figure there may be better answers here regarding the subject of my question.

What I want to know is how you productivity is affected by antidepressants meds?
A few months ago a psychiatrist prescribed me escitalopram. I don't consider myself depressed, I would say I'm fine even if I'm not particularly happy.
My problem with the meds is that they do make me highly unproductive. I do feel "better" taking them, but I'm also prone to spend the whole day in indleness caring not to much for everything that happens.
I used to write often and do other duties, but when I'm on bed I cannot write because I don't feel like to do it, and not only writing but everything. If I'm not in college, I spend the day waching youtube videos and browsing the internet without doing anything in particular.

Has anyone had experiences with antidepressants?
I'm seeing my psychiatrist next week to see if I can stop taking them, I don't see the need for them, I may not feel particularly happy, but I'm not sad either

Should I submit my story to different literary magazines or to one at a time?

Submitting to several magazines makes it more likely to be published, but what should I do if it's accepted by more than one? Send an email to the editors telling them that it's already published?