/lit/ - Literature

>>21348974
I am speechless, anon. I don't know what to say. Also, this >>21349027. God bless you for this. You are incredible, I won't forget this.

>>15783890
Yeah the relevance is the longterm thing not revealed yet. Also placeholder until it's finished, usually I end up finding a better title after I'm done anyway.
>Their culture was totally foreign to me, but to them I was an automaton beneath a clay face, but as one, I confess I felt at home in my own private way.
This could be rearranged to be easier to read.
The entire thing reads a little directly for my taste, but that lands in personal preference. You put some distant descriptions right in the middle of literal sounding prose, it contrasts very hard.
As one reads on it gets smoother though, although some of the dialogue language really contrasts with the tone you set initially. With some ironing out of the beginning I think this could be even more compelling to read.