/lit/ - Literature

>>15771974
I'm usually a fan of metrical poetry, but I actually enjoyed this, even if the meaning seems a bit obscure to me. The "time like a wistful bubble slugs" is probably the best line, and leaves me vaguely repulsed, as does the final line which also works well. I would alter the line referencing swans' necks bent and drowned- it seems a little too in-your-face for a piece which is elsewhere quite subtle; with only 9 lines, every word counts.

Attached is my poem, 'Janus'.