/lit/ - Literature

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Write What’s On Your Mind
No, Brap-Man, Don’t! Edition

Thread theme https://youtu.be/N-OQoX7BEqY

Previous thread >>19385627

Be good.

>>18990062
>I feel sorry for you
Noted.

Alright. Are there any Canadians on tonight?

Isn’t OP saying that it’s comfy?
Because it is.
Film is 100x better at it, but I love it in a book

Autumnal

>>10476760
Extra details are always something an enthusiastic writer has an urge to put on paper, but all it really does is kill the pacing,
If these things are important than bring those details out when it becomes relevant, otherwise they're needless details that belong in a footnote rather than the body.
Extra details are a great thing. They're great to get ideas to develop the plot later on and they show the amount of energy you have at the start of your work. Later on as you write (at least for me) you'll become more jaded with yourself and your work so your first draft with all your ideas in them should give you a reminder of why you started this project in the first place.

Pure unaltered loud noise
invading our ears and taking over
our perception
assaults most of our senses
as our eyesight is subjected
to the most intense and vivid
instance of red there ever was

The long garden
takes through a path of rocks
large and naturally decorated
by pink flowers growing
here and there

The wall in there
indoors
is pure red
and there are chunks of flesh
dripping through it's entirety
covered in fresh blood
clots of darker blood
and lighter splashes
of vivid light red

A hole in the skies
screams and the noise
takes our ears over

A fireplace burns
and the figure of a person
tied to an human-sized wooden stake
is burned alive
screaming

There is a shining hole
in the dark night sky
of charged heavy dark clouds
and it is not amused

There is a throat cut open
and blood gushing over the wall
as the head falls back

There is a dog lying on the path of rocks
taking a nap with his head over his crossed paws

There is a masked man observing
the shining hole in the sky
screaming down on us


>>8861795
The first stanza started strong but after it the imagery just left me feeling indifferent