/lit/ - Literature

I learned the hard way that love is basically meaningless in a relationship, women just want to have sex with you for a couple of days, before moving on to the next guy. I adapted a similar point-of-view, and it was because of this that I lost my virginity years ago. I fully understand what being with a girl feels like, what sex feels like, what a good time feels like...but the last three years it felt different. It became so much of a routine that it's kind of a drug at this point. Work as a bartender, get a girls number, go to her place, drink, sneed and feed, repeat. At no point during all of this I would ever grow some feelings for the girl I'd be with, no matter how cute, innocent, or lovely she might seem at first glance. It's what I learned, and it's the product of being ''too loving''

My clients can vary, from a guy who invites the girl next to him a drink to the guy who got his heart broken by his girl. These type of clients foolishly think that alcohol will ''fill the void in their heart'', as if it was some sort of empty vessel that required to be shiny constantly. I see it as an engine, one that requires cleaning, maintenance, and above all, true happiness in order to make one ''A true, loving, human being''. I used to think it wasn't like this, and that hanging around with more women would increase my chances of finding the one to ''fill the void'', yet my inability to feel affected by their company led me to believe that my heart was simply...gone. I felt truly dead for the time being, believing that there nothing. My motivations are yet to be finished, my main goal in life is yet to be reachable, and from that, I have no doubt about it...but I found nothing else to do in life for the time being.

So there I was, after college I was doing my work shift, satisfying my body and my mind with the idea that ''Hard work pays off'', and ''Studying is only required for work''. Weirdly, I have a bad habit when it comes down to remembering names

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