/lit/ - Literature

please post more, op.

I never could figure why that lizard is trying to hide two of his feets, one successfully. Perhaps he forgets that his front limbs also have feets. Silly lizard.

Anyway OP, I'm afraid that I didn't like your work. I was put off by "mennace" (spellcheck ffs).

>infinite majesty beseeched our very eyes through the light filled gobbets of rain drops crying from the sky.

WTF? You're not getting paid by the word. gobbets of raindrops is a terrible image. The sky doesn't cry and why the fuck "very eyes"? Are you a time traveller from the shitty age?

>I feel like shes mine, but sometimes I don't.

Make your mind up. Shit or get off the fucking pot.

>I feel the warming star inside her aswell as the pure substance of myself wet on top and caught drifting away to wonderland where I think I've done something achievable in my life.

Don't really know where to start, other than to say that doing something acheivable is a tautology (you've done it, so obviously it's acheivable), and not very impressive anyway. You aren't saying what you think you're saying in this passage. And the thing about the star inside her, just nope.

>sorrow sadden pleas of humility.

Genuinely not sure what the fuck you're trying to say here.

Basically, you like the chick. We get it. But this is toss, mate, sorry.

Get home, see this. Wat do?