/lit/ - Literature

I've often come across the idea that God loves the people at the opposite ends of the spectrum who live as extreme examples. The Martyrs, the Saints who give it their all to help their fellow man, the ones who die in service to the Faith, but also the selfish men, the ones who wholeheartedly believe in themselves and forge their own paths, whatever route they may take. But God doesn't care for the the rest, the sheep, the cattle. The rest are just props, not worthy of attention.

Is this attributed to some specific school of thought or was it just a thing from some book somewhere that caught on as a trope or some such?

>>22836292
I know, I know, but my fantasies are all I have. And if I try and fail, I'll forever know I'm nothing. However if I don't try, I'll certainly be nothing. I'm too cowardly is all. And there's a self-destructive tendency in me. I suppose because I'm scared. Whatever I was good at as a kid was eventually taken from me. So I ruin it all before factors outside my purview can do it for me first.
>>22837944
I can't do that. In my cunt you take your finals and after your score comes out, you apply for a few schools and a specific subject. Once you're in, that's it. You can't change what you study, you don't even pick your classes. You either do it, or you give up.
>>22838128
Thank you for the kind words anon. But it's hard, you know? Take today. I studied. I didn't over eat. I run an hour on the treadmill. I felt light and better about myself. Night came, I got the yearning for a pizza. I resisted. I ended up paying 30€ for a "gourmet" dish that was basically beef with tons of pasta. Now I'm bloated, feel fat again, my hard work went down the drain, and I'm back to where I was in the morning. I'm incapable of doing well because the moment I make a single good decision, however insignificant, I walk back on it and make the same mistakes.
>>22838187
I wish I knew what thoughts were my own. I've become so indecisive I cannot figure out what I like on any given subject. I'm empty and open to everything. I feel no pulls, no genuine desires, nothing. It's all equally nothing. I don't even know what, I don't know, colours I like, or music, or any other basic piece of identity. I used to be steadfast, now I'm a feather in the wind, being carried to nowhere.
>>22838192
Yeah, but it's hard...
>>22838437
>also remember; you can only be courageous, in the face of fear. courageous people do not feel confidence, they feel fear, and do things anyway.
Thanks anon. I've always felt very cowardly. Far too often I'd go to the cinema and they'd play a horror trailer before the movie I was there to watch, and I'd slump over, close my eyes and put my fingers into my ears. Loud noises startle me. Most days I don't feel like a man, more like a mockery of it. I go to the supermarket and while the butcher's cutting the meat, if I'm close, my body involuntarily flinches. I can't help it, it's there. But I've been doing better. Managed to watch some horror flicks by myself. I await the butcher's knife and brace myself. Small things, really, but hey.

I just don't know. Half the time I'm so angry, at myself, at certain elements; and the other half I'm hyperactive. But it's all hollow. An act I'm playing, because I'm too scared to try and find out who I am in the real world. I wish I was a better person, but these days I don't even feel like I exist.