/lit/ - Literature

>>17420604

b u m p

Recommend me your favorite crime book of all time

hi sorry for the blogpost but i wanted to see if anyone else has felt this. lately ive been feeling completely disassociated from the world. i was having a really intense dream a few nights ago in which i was floating above this plain and in the horizon was the sun but it was the disc of a pendulum that was swinging from side to side bringing in night and day depending on where it was. it gradually began swinging faster and faster until i woke up. i woke up with a sense of extreme disassociation and unease and saw my hotel room as though it was the first bedroom i had ever seen but it felt very strange that i was in that room, like why am i here? who is letting me sleep here? whose bed is this?

ever since then i feel like i am floating more than walking. everything i do is automatic. i dont engage in rational thought anymore. it seems impossible. everything that i do just comes to my mind and i do it. im not even thinking about writing this post it's as if my hands were writing it out themselves. also strange things have been happening. i am a native speaker of french and english and on the streets of an american city yesterday a person stopped me and started a conversation with me in french and first asked me where x plaza was but then started asking me a lot of personal questions and who sent me there and was acting very personal as if he knew but id never met that man before. only after ending the conversation did i realize that he'd been speaking to me in french without even asking me beforehand.

also everything looks strange to me. when i see chairs i see things that are patiently waiting to be sat upon rather than inanimate objects, and when i walk down the street it seems like the buildings are 'hanging' over me and inviting me to come in instead of just standing straight up. also whenever i see computers it feels like they're oriented towards me looking at me and their buzzing is them communicating with each other. also people's faces have started to look very strange and menacing and many have blended in together. it's like in GTA and other videogames where they reuse character models ive started to see that in real life it seems with the same face transposed on different bodies.

im very far away from my home and i havent received any messages or contact from family members or anyone that i know in weeks, and actually i cant remember the last time i communicated with someone i know thats not the hotel ppl who change each day. im starting to forget what they looked like so i have to look at photos to remember but i have very few photos of them so it seems like all they are are the few photo depictions of them that i have

im starting to feel like im going schizoid or psychotic or something. ive had depression and anxiety before but nothing like this. whats happening? has anybody felt like this before

>>12039967
More or less this, dazai isnt depressed per-say
he just cant relate and always fronts and tried to make people believe he was human - like them
when every moment he was confused and dazed about what it ment to be human
if you can imagine living your life in 3rd person and controlling a character is what dazai describes (in my opinion)

>>12034620

Have you seen this man?