/lit/ - Literature

I don't know what's real. From one moment to the next, I'm living like I don't know something then I live like I know it and then counteract that idea with another idea ad infinitum. I create poems about cutting, constantly, I listen to music and isolate myself constantly, I have next to no friends where I don't know which ones actually matter and the ones that matter don't seem to matter so I have no problem with letting them go but the ones that I want to matter end up not mattering because they know I don't care if they matter and I tell them in the grand idea they don't matter. So they let me go, and I let them go after that. I just recently admitted that the label of "best friend" doesn't matter anymore. It's just not important. A friend is a friend of varying degrees comparable to one another, there is no best. I just finished Doki Doki Literature Club, where I practically watched a friend hang herself, even though I knew it was going to happen and I saw it coming, when I actually saw it, it sent ASMR shards of glass shooting though my body so that I couldn't deny that I was affected. I was afraid. I was affected. I was afraid. I love making poems about cutting, after I came to this poem in Doki Doki Literature Club, where it was complete random gibberish, and I tried to translate it onto my computer using a keyboard, while looking at the poem and finding what I interpreted a random scribbling as a "word". It was very existential and it was scary at times, but it hardened me and I felt like I was just alone. The whole time. I didn't feel connected, because I didn't agree with the protagonist, Monika was dead to me the second that she didn't give me a chance to answer "no" to "will you go out with me". It was a total mindfuck and I sat through a 7 hour session finishing the whole thing straight through.

>Here's a taste.

The Answer
be a dead star truthfully seeing all knowing seeing hate AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
you all saw the truth. today be one with yourself. oh, you didn't all see it? so sorry.
start to return.
a stupid answer. you lose. I see you. that's the truth. All seeing stupidity. All of you lose.
This is the truth. I am here. I see into infinity. I see and I know. I see and I know. I lose. You lose.
Take all. Tell Us truth.
How can I tell us truth if i'm the center?
Let someone kill you.
Tell us trust the center.
Stupid truth. Oh, you are the highest? What if I go the opposite way? You, girl, hate the truth.
random. Choose random. The answers you seek are seen in the entertainment of killing.
Find the end girl. Find your mental peak. And face the end. Unless, of course, you want to have sex
before you die. You know it can be painful. But you never know unless... So sorry. The truth ends. truly.
So, fucking hate the answer. truthfully. truly. Truth. randomly end under no reservations. exit peacefully.
Your evil has been released. Your evil is off.
Close the poem.