/lit/ - Literature

>>11006129
>unmaintained asphalt and steel, ornate colossi jutting. And a woman outside the Greyhound, she mistakes this commotion for a sort of naïve newcomer awe, and Get out while you still can she warms him, laughing. Cynical wisdom from an urban sage. Smiling he tells her that he's no stranger to this town, a revolution of nostalgia. She just smiles tight-lipped as he turns towards the bus stop. He steps up on board and clunks slowly towards lower buildings.
This is all lazy, do it again. The rest peaks interest. The Blade Runner Borges-Burroughs Tlon Greyhound terminal in Fallout concept good. Punctuation unimaginative/-utilized. Target should be magical noir Robbe-Grillet reshoots Eraserhead/Touch of Evil mashup in the Twilight Zone

>A quick trip to the restroom and he heads for the front, and on his way out a younger guy sort of dogs behind him, asking something about is he a "traveler" too, and at first it seems he's just addressing the general space, but no [he's addressing him, jovial, about how if he only had some bud to smoke, prying, likely reading possession in the man's character or step, correctly.] Whether mad and untrustworthy or harmless and eccentric is hard to tell but he's not troubled when the harasser's distracted by someone more willing to pay attention.
Too meta. More sparse. Eraserhead. Bracketed bit particularly, tone feedback jumping tracks.

Paragraph 2
In Rod Sterling's voice:
>The heart of downtown, Sangria, New Mexico: a man in the Greyhound terminal for a simple there-and-back stands there, waiting. He is not on business. There has never been a time when his trip was not a personal matter. In here, people are either in fear-- or the cause of it ...
>Features on the city's wretched urban face.
phrenology (architecture), Charles Bonnet Syndrome (monstrous variation of face blindness: inhabitants or city itself)
>[Arrivals], he doesn't intend to spend much time absorbing the building's stained inbetweens.
Suggestive of the restroom's state of sanitation in the next line. Good.
>A quick trip . . . in the man's character or step...
Economize everything inbetween to give more space to make the solicitation more implicitly egregious, or characterize the environment it's prolix.
>drops[,] the air acrid, an oil slick in suspension drowning everything with the implied threat of thermobaric holocaust. The city [a]wash(ed) in (a) murky (old) blue, its buildings marked by their decrepitude, hanging-on without hope to their architects miscarried designs for them, abandoned by time.
>He braces himself to inhale the aerosolized acid reflux of the city air to catch a glimpse of of this benighted metropolitan tartarus for titans, trapped in these cursed gothic corruptions of steel and glass colossi.
>[DEPARTURE: ___________ ]
Some Lovecraft/Bloodborne in there with the setting characterization. The terminals are key. Is the guy on personal business trapped/looped? Silent Hill. Man and the woman are failing to recollect?