/lit/ - Literature

>>19252076
>Not all trades tend to be equitable

“…and that’s the story so far.”

“What a debacle,” Gabriel laughed incredulously, “What sort of operation are they running down there?”

“Yeah, they’re typically much better at these things. Unfortunately, this scuttles the acquisition…” Jacob was a great negotiator, perhaps their best, if he said it was over then the deal was truly dead.

“Ah, no matter…they can keep him.” Gabriel paused for a second. “Wait. Does Michael know about this yet?”

“You’re the only Arch I’ve told so far”

“Okay, excellent. Let’s go see him together, I need to see his face when he hears this.”

Moments later the two figures - one striding the other limping - arrived at the immense golden doors of Michael the Archangel. Jacob was about to knock, but Gabriel threw out a hand and the massive doors parted. “Too showy, if you ask me.” he whispered. “Michael,” he called in a sing-song voice, “Jacob’s got some news for you!”

“Jacob!” came a warm, resonant voice “Have a seat, how is the Trump acquisition coming along?”

“I’m afraid the deal’s off, sir.”

“The deal is off?” the warmth was gone “You recognize how important it is that—”

“He knows all that, Michael,” Gabriel interjected “don’t be so hard on the kid. Beside, the fault lies entirely with downstairs.” He then gestured to ‘the kid’, (meaning anyone born after the flood) to resume his recounting:

“So things were on track, or at least they were going how these negotiations typically go: they drew up a miles-long contract and we combed through it for double-talk and loopholes. The gist was that we’d bring president-elect Trump over to our side in exchange for Tom Hanks and Jeff Goldblum. An extremely high price, but as you say we couldn’t afford to have another one of theirs in the presidency.”

“I know all this, go on.”

“Ah, yes. Well, the issue is that the Trump ledgers were a complete mess. Apparently he alone struck at least 70 bargains; half of which Hell itself didn’t know about until our due-diligence review.”

(1/3)