/lit/ - Literature

>>19994728
You have to just do it or else you might regret it

I'm in the same boat though, I'm crushing hard on a girl at my Uni, told myself I would approach her but when I saw her, I just couldn't. Just looking at her I felt the panic creeping into my throat. I went into the bathroom to calm mysef but by the time I got out she was gone. Not sure if I will see her again and i'm left with regret.

I don't have a hard time talking to strangers when I don't expect anything. But the minute there is something to gain from the interaction I get scared that I will fuck it up, I'm scared of making a fool of myself and being humiliated more than anything. It's so fucking stupid and I'm getting seriously tired of living like this.

I had a rough week, one filled with a few highs but mostly lows. The events that triggered this in a way occured monday. That day I had a third date with this girl who I was speaking with for about 2 or 3 weeks now. The first two date had went extremely well, the first one had lasted 3 hours and the second one around 6 hours. I had a blast at both dates, the conversation was fluid and there a never a dull moment. Time flew by very quickly when I was with her. Due to multiple circumstances, the third date was scheduled a bit later but between that time we would text through snapchat everyday. It was mostly banter with a touch of flirt. Things were progressing in the right direction in my eyes. For me, this was a breath of fresh air that filled me with optimisim. For someone who's been dealing with severe depression and anxiety since my early teens and who's been slowly getting out of that hole, this felt like my big break. Third date came around and everything was going fine. I was very nervous though because I felt like we had to take the relationship to the next step, something in which I have 0 experience in, me being a virgin due to crippling social anxiety. Anyway, 5 hours in and I finally find the courage to open up about me being nervous about having 0 experience and I just feel her shutting down. She starts to slowly unravel next to me as she tells me how she's scared about me getting attached to her, how she's afraid she will cause pain to everyone again, how she's not over leaving her ex-boyfriend, how she caused pain to him, to his family and how she lost friends due to their breakups. And I'm just there stunned on the couch, a reaction I had never seen coming based on our interaction and what she had told to a common friend. All my optimism just crashing down and somehow I'm the one who has to reassure and tell her that's okay to feel that way and that you cannot let your fear of hurting others get in the way of your own happiness, that in the end you got to live for yourself and not for them.

>>18940300
>tfw attain the love of your life but realize you're such a depressed, neurotic mess that you'll slowly suck the happiness from her until she's a shell of her former self, and you cut her off so she's not damned to a life of misery and degradation
Iktf