/lit/ - Literature

"A gram uranium is roughly 20 billion calories." Said the teacher on the cyber-classroom screen on the public prison's cafeteria. The enforced learning session was in order,but one man dared to reply"what would YOU know?"
The guards , gorillas with human microchip-brains and football-style armor,quickly formed a circle against the insolent inmate.
"I eat 5 pound of uranium. a DAY" continued to rant the inmate. The gorilla-guards used their shields to try to squish him to a pulp, but he flexed his muscles so quickly, it caused a shockwave that sent them all flying.
"Can't stay here, chaps. the contest is 'bout to begin". Saying this, he made a pose; a bodybuilding contest staple pose, with his arms raised upwards, his stomach in a vacuum. He flexed his muscles. He executed such isometric pressure and contraction of the muscular mass,that he slipt trough the atoms and ,due to the earth rotating at a different speed than his atotmic vibrations, appeard a long,long way away from the prison.
"Now. To the contest!" shouted the man with joy.

The underground anti-WWIV nucelar shelter complex's stadium(formerly a swimming pool to park nuclear submarines) was full, full of the world's richest and most influental men(thats right:no women). Dictators, mafia bosses ,pitbull trainers and vaccine human lab rats. Anyone who was paid a lot was there. Dressed in tracksuits and sweapants with shirts,they waived the flags of their provinces of the United Earth Federation, drank soft drinks and alcohol-free beer, and bet provincial-budget-tier sums.
The announcet, a dwarf with a pot belly, yelled:" Art thou ready for the contests of champions? the showdown of gods?"
YES! yelled the audience
"then, LO! let it begin"

At once, a parade of mankind's Finest entered the stage.

(the names of the provinces are the names of the areas that were formerly independent countries)
from Japan came a bad, dragging rolls of belly fat, a long-haired behemoth whose notorious belly was so big, he had enough space to get a tattoo of all 340 Poke-'em-on
He had a group of helpers carrying a small swimming pool, the ones kids use,full of chanko soup.

For a bunch of personal reasons im doubting my afterlife religious model(catholic), and Im studying scholarly and scientific papers to see how I should live my life;so far the two most convincing choices are either nothing afer death or quantum immortality/resurrection.

What books should I read for either option? are there any DIY experiments I can do,such as lucid dreaming,to get insight in this matters?
>pic unrelated ,I just like the concept of an athlete being fat

>>15565447
At once, a parade of mankind's Finest entered the stage.

(the names of the provinces are the names of the areas that were formerly independent countries)
from Japan came a bad, dragging rolls of belly fat, a long-haired behemoth whose notorious belly was so big, he had enough space to get a tattoo of all 340 Poke-'em-on
He had a group of helpers carrying a small swimming pool, the ones kids use,full of chanko soup.

from Russia, came a long-bearded farmer, carrying one hand, a giant kettlebell with an Icon of the current Patriarch carved in it, and on the other hand, a myostatin- inhibited polar bear whose head he had smashed.

from India came a princely-clothed man with a moustache so thick it could have endured being cut by a diamond-bladed razor. He was wearing baggy clothes, royal garments of old, so his physique couldnt be seen in all its glory, but he had a commanding presence, a big frame, and mighty muscles.
From Mongolia came a man riding on horseback. He was a chubby man with red hair, dressed in traditional leather wrestling jacket, who upon dismounting instantly tried to push the Japanese contestant to the ground, unleashing a small quarrel to the general amusement.
Many others such men entered the arena, until one man, a lonely, bearded, bald man wearing military boots, sweatpants, and a Union Jack all around his upper body, entered the stadium. The audience unleashed deafening cheering. “the hammer of Ulster” “the boogey man of the Scottish highlands!” “The ban of rural England” his nicknames and legends were as many was the veins that popped out of his head. The man whose training had defied all science, the man whose muscles ,it was said, held the answer to Dark Energy.

>>15541081
(the names of the provinces are the names of the areas that were formerly independent countries)
from Japan came a bad, dragging rolls of belly fat, a long-haired behemoth whose notorious belly was so big, he had enough space to get a tattoo of all 340 Poke-'em-on
He had a group of helpers carrying a small swimming pool, the ones kids use,full of chanko soup.

from Russia, came a long-bearded farmer, carrying one hand, a giant kettlebell with an Icon of the current Patriarch carved in it, and on the other hand, a myostatin- inhibited polar bear whose head he had smashed.

from India came a princely-clothed man with a moustache so thick it could have endured being cut by a diamond-bladed razor. He was wearing baggy clothes, royal garments of old, so his physique couldnt be seen in all its glory, but he had a commanding presence, a big frame, and mighty muscles.
From Mongolia came a man riding on horseback. He was a chubby man with red hair, dressed in traditional leather wrestling jacket, who upon dismounting instantly tried to push the Japanese contestant to the ground, unleashing a small quarrel to the general amusement.
Many others such men entered the arena, until one man, a lonely, bearded, bald man wearing military boots, sweatpants, and a Union Jack all around his upper body, entered the stadium. The audience unleashed deafening cheering. “the hammer of Ulster” “the boogey man of the Scottish highlands!” “The ban of rural England” his nicknames and legends were as many was the veins that popped out of his head. The man whose training had defied all science, the man whose muscles ,it was said, held the answer to Dark Energy.
The first round of the contest consisted of carrying a barrel of beer 500 meters, then drinking the beer, juggling with kettle bells ,and then reciting one’s name, place and manner of birth, and favorite brand of fried butter shakes. The one who did the quickest would win, but each man would participate one at a time, to avoid unhealthy bitterness.
“I’ll go first. Said the Russian farmer.-“for me beer is like water, for I drink vodka while sitting on icy Siberian water . Juggling kettle bells is like swatting flies, for my trusted gerya has smashed many a bear”

(the names of the provinces are the names of the areas that were formerly independent countries)
from Japan came a bad, dragging rolls of belly fat, a long-haired behemoth whose notorious belly was so big, he had enough space to get a tattoo of all 340 Poke-'em-on
He had a group of helpers carrying a small swimming pool, the ones kids use,full of chanko soup.

from Russia, came a long-bearded farmer, carrying one hand, a giant kettlebell with an Icon of the current Patriarch carved in it,and on the other hand, a myostatin-inhbited polar bear whos head he had smashed.

from India came a princely-clothed man with a moustache so thick it could have endured being cut by a diamond-bladed razor. He was wearing baggy clothes, royal garments of old, so his phsyque couldnt be seen in all its glory, but he had a commanding presence, a big frame,and mighty muscles.