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>> No.20056798 [View]
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20056798

>>20055750
this is very good. most of what i have are quibbles.
only important marks are the first "across" and "burrow"
draping a veil implies it's across the thing
burrow is the wrong verb for an action involving water. "[verb] through water, burrowing into silt"
i wouldn't use "skirms" but it's your writing.

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