/lit/ - Literature

>>2111431
nothing?

thought this would be good because i've never seen this asked in a thread before.

as is always my problem, i feel that there is some value in a critique of my poetry and this being perhaps the fastest place to accumulate a semblance of such— though sincerity and effort often lacking, i'm going to post a few new OC poems.

critique, contribute OC, or whatever.
1
What of originality then
In our own hand unraveling
Becomes a string
Of yellow traffic signals
Ubiquity fortuitous to us who
As cartooned copied individuals
Fading ink in funny pages
Aging thousand reproductions staged
By hand who've captured, captioned
Underneath us
And mock some static glowing rage

2
A glass of wine with dinner
The way you won me over when
Glowing rosy cheeks to match
The light refracting in the glass
Asking if you'd ever
Had that overwhelming want
To sink into the couch
Forever between cushion folds