/lit/ - Literature

>>19093126
> be massively autistic and incapable of social interactions
> First year at uni
> Decide to sit in the front row to follow the lectures better
> Decide one day to bring a Pushkin novel in its native language to read during recess
> 200 I.Q class genius strolls by
> "Whattchu reading?"
> Show him
>"Woah! Is this in Russian?"
"Yeah, i really like it. It's a beautiful language"
> "I guess so"
"Do you know any foreign language yourself?"
> "No, just English"
"Oh, what a pity..."
> Three seconds of awkward silence go by, before he retreats away seemingly hurt by my remark

I've learned my lesson. I am never going to read in public ever again.
Alessandro, if you're reading this please forgive me. I didn't want to shame you, I am just a social retard

How do I cope with the fact that no matter how many wonderful books I read and how much they deepen my understanding, the only application I will get out of them will be to virtue signal to others how much """smarter""" I am?
I am so tired that the only feedback I get is "Wow Anon you are a genius!" or occasionally "No, Anon I've read more books than you and you're actually a massive retard" (This applies both IRL and on 4chan, don't try to pretend this place is any better)
I like reading, but knowing I can never truly share my insights makes me feel so lonely I feel like puking.