/lit/ - Literature

On my mighty steed, I ride across the land
The land I do not see
Mist rose, mist so thick and so heavy
I am blind to the land
Beyond the mist I see the trees and hills
Crest the hill and a sea of mist greets me
My steed drinks morning dew
The blades of grass hang heavy underfoot, they do not rise to challenge my passing
I am sovereign of all I see
But I do not see the land
I am sovereign of the horizon, of the hills up high, of the trees afar
On my mighty steed, I ride across the land
Come the dawn is my journey ended
From one end of the land I have crossed to the other
But I do not see the land
Come the dawn, on a high hill I look down below
The mist is gone and the blades of grass rise to greet the dawn
And my rule is at an end
I no longer rule anything I see
And I finally see the land

does anybody else write fanfiction as practice? seems like a great way to get feed back and if a sorry is original enough you can just swap out the characters for OCs

>>18450944
>Any progress on your novels?
Yes, I'm done now. I was never going to become the next Faulkner, the next Nabokov or the next Joyce, but I hid behind the language barrier to avoid criticism for months, maintaining an illusion that was fun to live in while it lasted. I had thought my country's education system to be topmost in the world, but this turned out to be utter bollocks. A child of 18, a person ten years my junior, has a greater vocabulary than I, who had to look up the word “topiary”, and no one likes the expression theory of art anymore, I am likened to a long lost dinosaur.
This will be my final post on /lit/. I've been humiliated and exposed as a fraud. My writing is pretentious, infantile, banal drivel. My observations are dull, my language grade school level. My tenses are mixed up; I use colloquialisms, ellipses and onomatopoeia. I mix tired and trite idioms together to obfuscate their unoriginality with a veneer of irony; I have continued to recite ornate Jewish chimpanzee parables with diminishing returns. The parable seemed very clearly to me to be asking me whether or not the now-grown-adult can choose. I say yes, of course, but that's not my issue.
I was never cut out for writing. I began writing my "book" on January 6th. Since then I've produced 99 thousand words for it. These words are a tide of garbage without value, without insight, without form. The themes of time, space, infinity, memory and pointless duelling are not present in my work. It was never real writing, it was anime and weebshit!
Story arcs, character arcs, narrative arcs, these are all outdated terms. You say what you hear, and only the anime fandom uses the term “arc” anymore. I am a toad! Look how many words I wrote, because apparently literature is bodybuilding and just aimlessly typing will somehow improve my writing. My appetites grew as I wrote, I set a goal of a 101 thousand words when I began, only for the cancerous growth to demand a 137 thousand words soon enough to be completed, and still I don't even know what genre it is that I'm writing. Is it autofiction? A comedy? A picaresque? Am I merely shitposting edgelord-triggering diarrhea in neo-emo gothic revivalist gestalt?
Regardless, I have failed, and even in my failure I have merely imitated how people who think they write well but write poorly write, and I couldn't even do that well. "Oh I can do that anytime if I wanted to" I thought, but no. I have put down my pen. Never again will my fingers click-clack across the keyboard. No more outlines, no more characters. Goodbye

>>18410628
Ok, Pastebin is up. https://pastebin.com/4Qpygu7K


This is five pages from chapter 3 of a book I'm writing. Don't worry: I mention important parts at the start of the pastebin. You don't need to read the other chapters to get what is going on. I think it would be classed as urban fantasy/crime drama but please correct me if I'm wrong.

I need some feedback on characters, setting, and the magical elements.

>Stuff I need to know
>Would you be interested in reading more like this?
>What do you think of the bosses?
>Were each of them distinct enough?
>Is it clear and realistic what they do within the city?
>Do the magical elements work OK?
>Are they clear or confusing?
>Should I keep the magical elements in the story?