/lit/ - Literature

I find it oddly soothing to watch old war footage or graphic war films while depressed. It's not that I find any sick pleasure in the bloodshed. Seeing such overt extremes of externalized suffering forms a kind of musical complement to my inner suffering and cancels it out. I see myself in it, it makes sense to me, and I find that agreeing. On the surface it's absurd that one would find relief in war footage. I don't want to cheer myself up, I want to transcend myself in the deafening din of artillery bombardments. Obviously it's not like experiencing the real thing, but the intensity of the footage still comes across and the intensity of it is what makes me feel other than the deadness.