/lit/ - Literature

I like the idea of being highly self-disciplined, but am so easily distracted that I never actually get the work done. I can watch and read things about productivity and get excited, and watch things about people who are monk mode style disciplined but always find myself just here, just absorbing without doing. For example, I saw things about dopamine detox and the benefits of it, and decided I was going to do it. Turns out it became a new obsession and I just spent hours watching hours of videos about dopamine detox. I saw Master Chief from Halo as being a no nonsense disciplined character, and ended up watching Halo lore videos. I feel like I am some high-level procrastinator that can always find every side quest imaginable but fuck up on the main quest line. I also can’t figure out if Norse paganism or Catholicism is the way. I feel drawn to both, and was raised in a family that was Christian, but very Arthurian Christian, my mother always would talk about nature spirits and things that are more akin to early Christianized England. The Green Knight story always attracted me as there are a mix of aspects that symbolise both. Seeing ravens and the whole Odin taking form as a wandering man always rang something inside me. I am also drawn to more masculine philosophies so Christianities stance on forgiveness and no revenge can cause some cognitive dissonance for me, watching videos and reading about Spartans attitude to training, self-mastery and fearlessness in combat are very satisfying. But then again, Crusading Knights were also known for high self-discipline and fearlessness in battle and probably were more self-denying than the Spartans were. Sometimes I think of God as being some Lovecraftian beyond comprehension type entity and not anything that is human-like at all. My mind is full of confusion.

I like the idea of being highly self-disciplined, but am so easily distracted that I never actually get the work done. I can watch and read things about productivity and get excited, and watch things about people who are monk mode style disciplined but always find myself just here, just absorbing without doing. For example, I saw things about dopamine detox and the benefits of it, and decided I was going to do it. Turns out it became a new obsession and I just spent hours watching hours of videos about dopamine detox. I saw Master Chief from Halo as being a no nonsense disciplined character, and ended up watching Halo lore videos. I feel like I am some high-level procrastinator that can always find every side quest imaginable but fuck up on the main quest line. I also can’t figure out if Norse paganism or Catholicism is the way. I feel drawn to both, and was raised in a family that was Christian, but very Arthurian Christian, my mother always would talk about nature spirits and things that are more akin to early Christianized England. The Green Knight story always attracted me as there are a mix of aspects that symbolise both. Seeing ravens and the whole Odin taking form as a wandering man always rang something inside me. I am also drawn to more masculine philosophies so Christianities stance on forgiveness and no revenge can cause some cognitive dissonance for me, watching videos and reading about Spartans attitude to training, self-mastery and fearlessness in combat are very satisfying. But then again, Crusading Knights were also known for high self-discipline and fearlessness in battle and probably were more self-denying than the Spartans were. Sometimes I think of God as being some Lovecraftian beyond comprehension type entity and not anything that is human-like at all. My mind is full of confusion.

I like the idea of being highly self-disciplined, but am so easily distracted that I never actually get the work done. I can watch and read things about productivity and get excited, and watch things about people who are monk mode style disciplined but always find myself just here, just absorbing without doing. For example, I saw things about dopamine detox and the benefits of it, and decided I was going to do it. Turns out it became a new obsession and I just spent hours watching hours of videos about dopamine detox. I saw Master Chief from Halo as being a no nonsense disciplined character, and ended up watching Halo lore videos. I feel like I am some high-level procrastinator that can always find every side quest imaginable but fuck up on the main questline. Any suggestions?