/lit/ - Literature

Who would I risk time for? It's not a big commitment, an hour maybe. A first date used to mean something simple to me. Now that I know better it seems like so much more. It's an admission that I share what she wants. When things go well, you plan another date. Signing on for one is signing on for so much more.

I know things would go well. I've seen how people can act when they are head over heels for each other. I can so easily convince myself there's no need to call it off so early. Going well- that's not what makes relationships last. Going well isn't what makes relationships worth it. Relationships require a sacrifice. Relationships require giving up what you want to serve the other person. Can I sacrifice for her? Do I want to? Do I trust that she could serve me?

I lack the trust that anyone could. I can be too peculiar, too closed off. Someone might want to spend time around me but do they really want to look deeper? Do they want to see where I lack and where I search? I doubt it.