/lit/ - Literature

>>18376034
>you think i don't know that technically it should be like that.

I didn't, it's perfectly fair for a reader to assume the author is making grammatical errors rather than the narrarator. The reader is the retard if they don't pick up on you making it proper upon switching perspectives to someone who should know better. To be fair, I didn't notice that. So yeah I didn't think you're dumb but I also missed the character being dumb as a result of coke either.

>>18376084
"Write what you know" is something I've heard a lot before. If you plan on making a character's mannerisms under the influence of particular substances believable, then you have to know this pretty well, either be introspective and have done all of these yourself or expose yourself thoroughly to people on such substances. There'll be readers out there who'll have first hand experience and call bullshit.

Without knowing how to portray it well, you risk writing a caricature of "Guy on x drug" which will read as cringe. Equally importantly you need to really flesh out that character so we know what the control is before you start applying different stimuli for it to feel genuine. For example, if a guy I know nothing about does meth and then gets into a fight, how would I know if the fight was the fault of the character, the meth, or the other guy?

Without the groundwork, the drug becomes the defining characteristic of the character doing them, which could be good if the point is how overwhelmed your narrarator is. However there has to be someone there in the first place before possession by a drug means anything.

>>18376729
BTW it's this guy again, I figured I'd run through the thread and give my thoughts on more than just the original text since you've been so engaged with the criticism. Like I said before, I like your story and I read it smoothly, pick up a few bits and pieces of technique to deliver it more efficiently are the only areas I can point to as the areas to improve that you asked for in starting the thread.

Reminder that I don't read much aside from people talking shit about the writing of others and I don't write much aside from adding notes on my phone about ideas for projects I haven't started.

Good on you for writing and for putting it out there, even if it's on a Tibetan whistle making forum.

>>18361151
Sorry

>>18361153
After you finish the Royal Road book will you do anything to keep it monetised? I've heard of people taking their work off there and putting the complete thing on Amazon.

>>18350030
Biggest pseud on the board right now.