/lit/ - Literature

Somewhere between my morning musings and the book's emphasis on finding affirmation of the self within I was left with a strange feeling in my stomach. Partly because I realized I was so damned hungry and hadn't eaten all day. I took a break to go grab some food just as Sinclair reunites with Demian. I noticed on the way out the door that the air felt different, almost electric around me. My very steps seemed filled purpose. I could feel the weight of my car in a way I never had before, time itself slowing down or speeding up before my eyes. When I met with another person, I spoke with a voice and a clarity that I did not recognize. I felt alive for the first time in ages. I laughed and smiled for reasons I did not understand.
I found that I agreed with a lot of what Demian said. Not to feel special for being unique, but rather that if I am to live at all, I can never fear the self and its desires. I realized that my fear wasn't derived from what I had done, but what I feared I might do and in a bout of ego-driven self-sacrifice had denied myself the chance to even live the life God may have wanted me to.
Yet, I can't shake the feeling of something far more sinister in the book. Abraxas was a revived god put into place for the creation of a new set of beliefs. It was accurate in saying that we create our own gods and fight them, yet seems to be willing to say that Abraxas may as well be Jehovah or Moloch for all it mattered. It was simply a business of subscribing a godhead for their beliefs which is itself an incredibly dangerous thing to do and how you end up with cults. Demian's family also rather horrifyingly resembled a cult, not with the doctrines that cults typically employ but rather the in-group biases and reverence given to existing members. Perhaps I'm lost in biases, but that triggered a skepticism response in me that led to me taking a more critical look into their beliefs. In short, I cannot abide always putting the self first, even if Demian's method did not display it bringing harm to others.
To finish, the book that made me feel freer than ever managed to instill me with more fear. Were I more impressionable, this book would have solidified my descent into everything I chose to suppress. More than any other question, I've asked myself whether the path all signs have been pointing towards is truly something God would want or whether I'd be another fool playing into the devil's hands. I firmly believe that God would intend for a person to be true to truth rather than our personal interpretations of the truth. Yet it was one of these same whims I attribute to God that led to me reading this book when I did. A point when I'm left questioning my inaction. I'm caught between taking this book as a sign to be true to myself, and the realization that being true to myself would inexorably lead to countless offenses to God and humanity as a whole.
>>21773198
tl;dr ur a faget

>>20338266
Cant you just read Crowley and get the same sort of demoniac stupidity?

You’re not a Christian because you act right, you’re a Christian if you have the spirit of God living in you. This isn’t hyperbole or something, I mean a real tangible occurance happens where God puts His spirit in you. If you don’t have the spirit of God in you then you were never Christian. Of course, im talking about Christian in the sense that the Bible does (rom 8:9; Luke 11:13; Ezekiel 36:27; etc) I understand there is a form of Christianity that is a philosophy, tradition, mindset, some sort of human culture that we are losing, but nevertheless true Christian have no confusion about whether they will follow God because they have God inside of them as they move on this earth. This is a supernatural occurrence and it is why the Bible and church have lasted 2000 years. Of course, acting right is better for you. God would not give commandments just cause, He gave them because sin is bad for you. When you sin you place yourself under its leadership and it becomes your master. It promises you pleasure, but what it doesn’t tell you is that you will get less and less pleasure as you indulge in it and eventually receive no pleasure only emptiness. Like Adam who obeyed Satan and Satan became the ruler of this earth (yes this is in the Bible - Luke 4:5-7 when Jesus is tempted by Satan Satan says that he has authority over all the nations. This would not be a real temptation if he didn’t actually have control over them. Also 2 Corinthians 4:4 tells us Satan is the god of this age, he is a usurper and will be conquered) Satan promised knowledge but in the end it lead to man becoming mortal and a slave to Satan and sin. So yeah it’s no surprise that sin is bad for you, but make no mistake a true Christian has received Gods spirit in a real way, in a powerful way. God bless you all in Christ.

I recently got into a relatively minor collision with my company vehicle, and am waiting to hear back from my managers about what's going to happen next. Not sure if I'll even have a job after this. My position was a temporary one anyway, and it was set to end in June, but I really don't wanna be jobless again. This job let's me do a lot of my day-to-day things quite easily, and it pays well (30) also.

And my friends and I were planning a trip to Mexico, but I went to buy the rickets this morning and the flight is apparently no longer available. So I might not be able to even go on that one either. This trip was scheduled for June as well, so it would have been perfect timing, seeing as I would have probably been without work anyway so I wouldn't miss anything and could just focus on the trip.

I set up an appointment for therapy today, too. First time trying it, hoping to fix the issues of my life, or at least learn how to progress towards something to that affect. I really don't want to give up, because I know that life is just hard sometimes, but man does it really make convincing reasons to just leave everything behind.

>>19941763
No need to read/watch/play any cyberpunk since we're already there.