/lit/ - Literature

>>21904565
Being alone out in the world is scary. When I'm alone in a public space, I suddenly feel like a little kid again. Like I feel extremely constrained in the possible actions I can take, and like a little thing beneath all these big serious adults who have everything together . They can always tell I'm weird. I'm still just a child who fumbles over basic interactions & end up seeming ridiculous as a result.
I'm always either seen as ridiculous in a harmless sense or people become suspicious of me. I give off a suspicious aurora.
I always thought as a kid one day I'd just wake up and be an adult & things would no longer scare me, but that didn't happen. Everything seems potentially dangerous and fragile. I wish I could just withdraw into some isolated castle where I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Walking into a new open space I feel this instant heavy weight of all the others eyes. I wish I could just boldly stride into a public space and say whatever I want, but I don't belong. I don't deserve to take up others' space.
I've never fit in and sometimes feel like there's no place for me anywhere on this earth.

>>21882786
Symbols are merely skins to be worn for the vast majority. The real content remains inaccessible, if it were found we would seek to make it a skin. Lacking content he seeks to be discontented, to reaffirm his own contentless content. If I puncture the pretense of a predator, I am accused of being a predator. The puncturing act is predatory too...
Beyond the ingested skin nothing. Nothing behind those empty eyes. Which anxiously stare trying to seek out definition,, retreating into safe empty truisms. To affirm I am on the same side as you or the opposite. The symbol's content is restricted to their own imagined anticipation of punishment or reward--or in the exhibition of pretended guilt to free themselves to act all the more cynically.